The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Randomize
