lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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