Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
