If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
