R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
