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Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I have post one night stand depression
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