Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
