She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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