she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Randomize
