i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
