dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
