The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
