Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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