If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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