If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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