...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
