i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
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Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
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Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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