it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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