There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize