i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
