weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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