You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Randomize
