So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
