none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize