why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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