Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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