Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
