mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
