so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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