chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
