i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
