are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
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and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
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The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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