can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
im holly from the hills drunk
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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