So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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