i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
