I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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