I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
