Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Randomize
