Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
