they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
