Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
