Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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