normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
