What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
you had me at cake vodka
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
