i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize