I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
