ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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