well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You did what with his pubic hair?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
