You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
