WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
