that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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