honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
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