do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
