went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
