I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize