Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
