she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
