problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
