What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
