I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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