I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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