We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Randomize
