Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I am one with the molecules
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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