Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
