What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
