How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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