Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
